It's not just cricket

I woke up in a daze and walked out on to the wall to watch the fisherman again. Cheryl suggested we walk through the village behind us and out on to the point to get a closer look.

There was a huge surf this morning and the men out in the sea guiding the nets in were experiencing some trouble. Nets were getting tangled and a double effort had to be put in by all. The process is more a tribal dance or ritual with up to thirty men chanting as they’re engaged in a mighty tug-o-war with the sea - hauling in the net from way out back beyond the breakers. The net finally lands on shore. There aren’t many fish this morning and the usual ecstatic dance and cheers are replaced by flat disappointment.

By this time Cheryl and I had attracted a fan base of five tenacious boys wanting money, a pen – but ultimately a game of cricket.

Cricket in India is like football in Brazil. Everybody plays it. From Brahmin to Dalit, Prime Ministers to Fishing Village kids – they are positively fanatical about it. Coming from the only nation that comes close to this across-the-board fanaticism means that the moment kids find out I’m Australian, a cricket bat is produced.

I am no cricket fan. I was no good at it as a kid, my idea of spending a whole day standing in a field never appealed to me and I certainly don’t keep abreast of the game on the international stage. Some have called this un-Australian. I call it having a life.

This unfortunately means that when an Indian discovers my nationality, the conversation inevitably turns toward cricket. I have to make do with polite yet uncomfortable vagaries about the current state of the game and its various teams until they realize I have no idea what I’m talking about - and eventually drop the subject.

I do, however, have an entirely different viewpoint of the knock-about version of the game. I grew up with backyard cricket. It’s a great leveler (skill-wise) and a fun way to pass to the time with a bunch of people you’ve never met. The most important difference between this and the real thing is that you can walk away the moment boredom sets in.

The boys beckon us back and set up the wicket in the middle of their village. The village is back from the beach and set amongst a dense forest of coconut palms that is also home to hundreds of Keralan Crows (whose squawks are only slightly less ominous than those of your garden variety).

With the ritual of the stumps being hammered in to the sand signaling that a game is about to commence, about fifteen kids come running out from nowhere. All of them are boys, no girls are to be seen anywhere and all the men are still hauling in nets. So it’s Australia V India. Fifteen kids against one overgrown one.

I win the toss and elect to bat. I can swing a bat OK and put in a decent effort. I kick off with a few singles and manage several slogs that get picked up just short of the boundary. I’m on a roll until I’m declared run-out by a very dodgy call. It’s fifteen against one and I’m not going to argue.

I hand over the bat to the ringleader whose swagger tells he’s something of a maestro with the bat. This is where my game goes to shit.

I can’t bowl for anyone’s money and I throw in a few wides for a very average start. Just as I get my eye in on the stumps, I send in a few plumb sitters, which this pint sized ten year old slogs for six – on several occasions. I haven’t had breakfast yet and my stomach rumbles from hunger (or is it embarrassment) so I call it time to pull stumps.

India 1
Australia 0

I tell them there’s gonna be a re-match tomorrow and they swarm, several of them holding on to each hand. We struggle back to the gate of our hotel holding five conversations at once until something has them leaping around even more than they already were. They’re jumping up and down screaming and pointing at a huge six-foot pale yellow snake making a break for it across the path (no doubt freaked out by all the commotion). We follow suit, using the distraction to slip in the gate promising a re-match tomorrow.

I’d better brush up on my game. Something tells me I’m gonna be playing a lot of it.